Climbing

Climbed a hard severe on Friday. Dead chuffed- I would have been chuffed if I'd done that at the end of the summer... now I got time to get further. Perhaps learn to lead?

God in the pain

I've been reading Fat is a Spiritual Issue. I love the way Ind talks about using her compulsive eating to blanket herself from pain, and by blanketting herself from pain separates herself from God.

I love the way Ind describes the pain and yet the life and reality of knowing God, relating to her pain, and allowing her to touch us and speak from within us in our pain. This somehow feels in a similar vein to my own thinking on the Crucifixion and Self Harm.

Our Heavenly Mother was not distant from her creation. She was not aloof, observing events in a detached uninterested manner. She was shaking in every junkie that comes down, starving in every child that has no food, shivering in the homeless, weeping in the bereaved, singing at the party, laughing at the banana skin, and ecstatic in every baby concieved into life. She was present in every moment and in each person. She invited us to respond to her, to live with all that we are. She called us to shake, to starve, to shiver, to weep, to sing, to laugh, to be in ecstacy with her.

And so when I was a compulsive eater it was not just my pain that I was cutting off from, it was God-in-me too. In refusing to listen to my depest parts I was ignoring God. My compulsive obsession was the antithesis of prayer. It was saying 'Sshh sshh sshh' to the feelings inside rather than 'Ow ow ow' with the one who incites us to share them with her....

...I learned to chose the pain of prayer rather that the pain of an eating disorder. I learnt to choose the pain of feeling with God rather than the pain of cutting myself off from her- I tried to stay awake in Gethsemane rahter than fall asleep. I preferred truth to lies. I risked allowing God-in-me to be.

The Farnborough Air Show

Last week we got the 'cheap seats' at Farnborough Air Show (ie Sandee's car in her friends work car park just outside the Airodrome).

I was torn between being impressed with displays of Airobatics, and concern for the environment as shed loads of smoke and carbon were pumped out and used just for the sake of, basically, showing off... and the fact that most of what was being shown off was our military muscle didn't help.

Call me an idealist, but it strikes me that if we cancelled international armed conflict and stopped having wars then our carbon emissions would radically drop- solving two of the worlds major problems with one throw. Mind you... how many people would be made redundant if we did that?

Cynical? Idealist? or just sad?

Uni- chuffed to bits!

Not that I'm saying what I got, but I'm chuffed to bits with my grades this term!

Last year I set myself a wee challenge to achieve gradewise before I leave and I've managed it on a double module, so a very happy Nikki is blogging today and feeling much more confident than usual in her ability to write and reflect. :):)

Climbing

I like the summer! Had a couple of 'afternoon scives' this week and last with my housemate. Plymouth may not be the centre of the universe, but I'm gonna enjoy the summer being half an hour from gorgeous coast path walks and lovelly beach swimming spots.

Yesterday evening I was kindly led up two routes at the Dewerstone for some climbing by a much more experienced climber from UK Climbing.

The routes were only Diff and V diff, but for me, it felt like the first time I'd actually achieved much on 'proper' routes- ie outdoor ones not at the wall! My first Multi-pitches as well even though I was only seconding. I knew I liked climbing but hadn't realised what a great buzz it would be being made safe in a belay halfway up a wall, well above the tree line, to belay the leader on the next pitch! Wicked location and topped out of the last pitch of our second route just as the sun was starting to set. No photo's coz I not good enough to safely carry my camera with me yet! So thanks guys for the evening, and for your patience in teaching a total novice basic things... such as tell the leader the ropes running out BEFORE there's none left.

I wouldn't say I was praying all night... but I knew God last night, in my physical body and the challenges, in the views and the exposure, in the company with snatched conversation while belaying and the longer conversations on the walk out. Feeling pumped but happy... just wish I could have taken Sandee!

And on the subject of climbing this video is ace!

St Budeaux Community Youth Project

We launched it on Monday evening!

A good turn out of local councillors and the area manager for youth work. People signing up for the steering group and voluntary youth work, offers of training for volunteers, and lots of questions asked and comments taken!

This is new territory for many of those involved. How do we find the balance between being a church initiated project and a community run project? How much power do we give the community when some of the partners have a specific idea of what should and shouldn't be looked at and covered? How do we as churches over come the stigma that over Zealous Christian Groups have established for us with the statutory sector?

Knowing that it's God's project, and that he is within everyone who is involved, not just the Christians, I guess we sit back, work with everyone who comes along, and trust that the image of God in everyone will shine come through.

Ogwen Valley

The trip to Snowdon was amazing in many ways, but frustrating in others due to lack of fitness- there was so much I wanted to achieve while there but not enough time/ fitness to do everything. We didn't make Crib Goch which was a big plan, but learned lots about the fab scrambling and challenging route finding to be found on Tryfan. Many days of fun still to be had in this area. Just need to focus on my fitness for the rest of the summer before returning in October.

There was of course, the very embarressing conversation with the Ogwen Valley Mountain Rescue Team (oops) the result of underestimating the area... They were fab though and do an amazing job. Gave us cups of tea and fatherly advice when we probably deserved a b*ll*cking! Who wants to come with me next time now that lesson's been learned?

Patriotism

I'm sure I read in A level psychology about studies that show that you see situations in a different way depending on whose side you're on.

But surely.... when someone blatantly stamps on someone elses balls and then gets up and starts shoving and kicking that can't possibly be seen as anything but foul play? Oh well... the lads in the pub didn't think so and was at risk of a kicking myself if I pointed this out! Stupid Boy. Wonder if he'll have as much stick and unpopularity to work through as Becks did after his 98 retaliation?

In the meantime... this has got to be one of my favourite fan songs... just coz it's clever!