Losing Faith?

A lot of my posts in the last month seem to be about me losing my idealism. Losing the faith that the world can be perfect. Can armed conflict really become a thing of the past? Is anti social behaviour really only a minority of young people? Can we really be any kind of light in the generational darkness?

During my two week stint at a youth club in Everton I wrote the following:

Just had my first major culture shock in a while… I went into Vineyard and found myself surrounded by middle class people! That was strange after hanging out with the young people and workers at the club. Not quite sure what to do with my theology now. I’ve seen he gospel lived out over the last week… by people who, frankly, would tell you to ‘f*ck off’ if you suggested that Jesus may in any way be relevant to them… yet they are passionate (and it’s genuine passion, not professional crap) about inclusion, freedom,
peace, the hurting. I’m reminded of the people in the parable who when Jesus calls them to heaven say “but LORD I never knew you. When did we see you sick or in prison or hungry” and Jesus says that what was done for the least of the people on earth he counts as service done to him. Yeah- this is partly a gospel of works… but I wonder if it is. It could also be a gospel of faith. Not necessarily faith in Jesus but faith that there is a better way, a higher path than the violence and the fighting. Faith in the good nature of humanity (who are made in the image of God) that all that is good in humanity will eventually win through and there will be peace.

I could cope with losing my faith in traditional Christianity, because there was still the hope for humanity, there was still Jesus. But now I seem to be losing my faith in the resilliance of good human nature. I can't cope with losing this faith.

Is this just a part of the natural process of gowing out of being young and idealistic? I don't know, but I don't like it.

God, help me keep the faith.